Hoa Lu Ancient Capital, Ninh Binh | Vietnam

The first independent (from the Southern Han Chinese) Vietnamese dynasty was founded by Đinh Bộ Lĩnh, the victorious warlord, in his hometown of Hoa Lư in 968. His dynasty only lasted 11 years; after he and his heir were murdered by a palace official, his most powerful military commander Lê Hoàn at first became regent to his remaining six year old son, but shortly dethroned the boy to rule as the first Early Lê dynasty emperor.

The Early Lê dynasty didn’t last much longer. Lê Hoàn ruled peacefully for 25 years, but his five sons warred over the throne for over a year after his death, massacring whole towns and murdering each other in the process. The eventual winner, Lê Long Đĩnh, was so notoriously debauched that he’s considered the Emperor Nero of Vietnam. Between his orgies and his hemorrhoids, he’s derisively referred to in ancient literature as ‘the emperor lying on the throne’ (as opposed to sitting on it). He mysteriously died after ruling for only 4 years; the high ranking mandarin and aristocrat who replaced him, Lý Công Uẩn, simply convinced the court to avoid any more Lê family infighting. Lý Công Uẩn founded the Lý dynasty in 1009, and moved the capital to what is now Hanoi, an auspicious site within a day’s ride of his own hometown.

So, Hoa Lu was only a preeminent city for 40 years. Modern structures have been built on the locations of the ancient buildings and tombs. There is nothing to be seen from the 10th or 11th centuries save a few artifacts in a small museum room in the Lê King temple. It is still a nice place to walk or relax for an hour or two. There is a local festival held to honor the ‘2 Kings’ in years ending in three, five, eight and zero, either on the 15th of the second lunar month (considered the birthday of Dinh Tien Hoang King) or on the eighth and thirteenth day of the lunar third month. I wasn’t there during the festival so it’s up to you to decode those dates and figure out if they’re worth timing your visit for!

Thung Nham Bird Sanctuary, Ninh Binh | Vietnam

Thung Nham Bird Sanctuary is just a 15 minute drive from Tam Coc village, and a very scenic/peaceful place for walking or biking. I visited one afternoon and barely saw any birds; I was told by other visitors they fly out in the mornings and come back around 5PM, so my timing was bad.

There is an entry fee; there’s also a “luxury hotel” in the middle of the park if you feel like paying $70+/night for the same scenery available elsewhere for $20. The park is more or less a single circuit; there are three caves at the beginning of the route; a lookout point and tiny island mid park, and a steep trail to an ancient tree about 3/4 of the way around. There are no guides.

The caves weren’t particularly scenic; one you practically have to crawl through, and another is lit throughout with irritating colored lights. The entrance to the trail towards the ancient tree isn’t clear; I couldn’t find it and there was no one to guide me so I didn’t see it. Unless they mean the giant banyan near the little temple?

I spent around 2 hours here, that’s how long it took me to wander around at a leisurely pace. It’s a nice half-day of exercise in nature, but not a must-see.

Bich Dong Pagoda, Ninh Binh | Vietnam

Bich Dong Pagoda dates from the 18th century, and features a pre-Nguyen dynasty architectural style. It’s built into a mountainside at three levels, and some shrines are inside dark caves. The steps make it easy to navigate and the views are beautiful; it was not possible for me to do them justice in photos because there’s a lot of greenery blocking them, the main perspective is almost straight up.

Word of warning: Tam Coc has the most aggressive hawkers I’ve encountered in Vietnam, and I’ve been here for two years now. The old women who sell fruit and souvenirs will literally run ahead of you and lock up the temples if you don’t buy from them. $2-6 is enough to pay for a folding fan and some bananas, come armed with small bills.

Tam Coc Boat Tour, Ninh Binh | Vietnam

The Tam Coc boat ride is the most popular in Ninh Binh, because one of the entry points is steps from Tam Coc’s main corner, where restaurants, hotels, minimarts etc. converge. It’s lovely, but shorter and not as interesting as the Trang An boat tour. Tam Coc is also known for having much more aggressive guides, who will essentially refuse to bring you back to shore unless you give them a $20 or $30ish tip on top of the ticket price. The ‘galaxy grotto’ is awful in my opinion; they’ve lit the cave with brightly colored lights, many flashing or swirling.

Múa Viewpoint, Ninh Binh | Vietnam

There’s not a lot to say about the Mua viewpoint, it’s just a beautiful view to reward you for about an hour and a half of exercise. It’s only accessible through the Hang Múa Ecolodge, and they charge you a couple bucks as an entrance fee. Once you’re in, they have various kiosks where you can buy drinks or ice cream, and little ponds and statue gardens where you can instagram it up, if that’s your thing.

Trang An Boat Tour, Ninh Binh | Vietnam

Though every village in Ninh Binh seems to have a boat tour, the best by far is the Trang An tour. There are 3 routes; all feature at least a couple caves and temples, and the beautiful mountain scenery of course. Each has its own merits. I chose Route 1, wanting to see the thousand year old temple. It’s so altered there’s nothing old there, so don’t expect much. Route 2 visits the King Kong movie set. They give you a map and time to choose when you buy the ticket, which is quite pricy.

An alternative to the boat tour is renting a kayak and going self-guided. I wish I had done this, because the guides don’t speak English and I didn’t learn anything, and was stuck on a boat with a woman who just wouldn’t shut up. I would have much preferred a few hours of exercise and some peaceful time in nature. There are so many professional guides rowing people around, a solo or duo kayaker could easily follow them along a route and not get lost.

There’s also a small museum in the ticket office with artifacts found in the area. It has some fossils, prehistoric stuff, bat trang pottery, etc.

Cát Bà National Park: Hiking the Peak, Trung Trang Cave & Hospital Cave| Vietnam

If you are in the mood for nature and light exercise, a day at Cat Ba National Park is great! It’s an easy ride on a motorbike, which you can rent for less than $10/day. I don’t feel confident on a motorbike and Grab doesn’t work on Cat Ba, so I walked down to the taxi stand on the main strip and struck a deal with a cab driver to chauffeur me to the park and caves for the day then bring me back. I don’t remember exactly but believe I paid around $40. If you really want a workout you can walk from Cat Ba Town, but it would take around 3 hours.

Right inside the entrance to the park is a really nice homestay with a restaurant, so if you want a coconut coffee to get you going or need to eat lunch, it’s convenient and the food is good. With a 9 or 9:30 start, I was easily able to have a coffee at the homestay, hike the peak, eat a relaxing lunch, visit both Trung Trang and Hospital Caves, and be back in Cat Ba town by late afternoon.

For a nature reserve there’s not much flora or fauna in the park. Despite its World Heritage Site status, security has been lax enough to allow poaching, to the point where endangered species like the Cat Ba langur are on the brink of extinction. However, if you just want to breathe fresh air and hike in nature, the trail to the highest point on the island is really short, taking just an hour or so, and pretty easy too: it’s 90% steps and 10% scrambling when you get to the top. The views are beautiful and it’s high enough to get that vertiginous feeling!

There’s an alternate difficult hike from the park entrance to Viet Hai village nearer the east coast of the island. This hike requires some trekking skill and serious endurance; it takes 8 to 12 hours. It’s not marked on the park map, but can be arranged in advance with a guide.

Trung Trang cave is actually the name for a system of 150 connected caves, where different stalagmites and stalactites grow, and some ancient human remains have been found. Of course, the section tourists can access is much smaller, but still very interesting looking. The entrance is a quick walk down the road from the park entrance.

Hospital cave was built with Chinese aid during the Vietnam war; it’s a three story concrete building with emergency exits, freshwater access, and air shafts, all built within a preexisting cave system. It was in continuous use for around 12 years, serving both as a hospital and safe house for VC leaders. It’s sparsely decorated with mannequins of soldiers, but that wasn’t the strangest thing I saw here . . . It seems they rent out the third floor for parties and events?!

Again, Hospital Cave is just a minute’s walk down the main road. I wouldn’t want to get married there, but I did really enjoy the day!

Phu Quốc Cuisine | Vietnam

Phu Quoc has such amazing food! I love seafood, so trying all the local cuisine was really a joy for me. I tried to rank them from most to least local, and rare to common. Phu Quoc has many indigenous species, in addition to more common species that would be exotic anywhere else, not to mention local styles of cooking. So, ordering them wasn’t an easy task! If you visit Phu Quoc, definitely budget for restaurants. If you are only on the island for a short time, the hands down best restaurant is Nhà Hàng Hải Sản Xin Chào at 66 Đường Trần Hưng Đạo, TT. Dương Đông, Phú Quốc.

And here’s a link to my google map of everywhere worth going on the island, including restaurants: Genevieve Fields' Phu Quoc

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1. Ghẹ Hàm Ninh (Flower Crab)

Ham Ninh’s indigenous crabs, usually called flower crabs but sometimes guard crabs (a direct translation from their name in Vietnamese), are known for being particularly sweet; it’s best to choose medium sized crabs as they tend to be sweeter than larger crabs.

While I adore lobster and shrimp, I’ve never been much for crab because they’re so much work and mess for such little meat! I prefer soft shell crabs, and crabcakes. Though the Ham Ninh crab is tasty, I didn’t find its flavor special, and it was certainly nothing different enough to be “worth” the table work.

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2. Canh Nấm Tràm (Boletus Mushroom Soup)

These particular mushrooms only bloom on paperbark trees in the island’s primary forest after early spring (March, April) rains. So, despite their bitter taste, their rarity makes them an expensive seasonal item. They are always cooked in a bland seafood soup with shrimp and squid. Again, I’m very pleased to have tried this local specialty but wouldn’t go out of my way for it.

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3. Tôm Mũ Ni (Slipper Lobster)

Slipper lobster is yet another species indigenous to the island, and the taste and texture is sort of halfway between shrimp and lobster. In my opinion, giant shrimp are more satisfying when simply dressed and grilled, and the flavor and size of Western lobsters is far superior. However, if you’re craving more of a lobster flavor and don’t have the budget for true lobster, these are a reasonable choice. For $20 you can have 4 or 5 slipper lobsters grilled.

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4. Còi Biên Mai (Horn Scallop Sinew)

Rare anywhere else, horn scallop sinews are cheap and bountiful on Phu Quoc. Though they’re called scallops, they’re actually the sinew connecting the scallop to its shell. The meat of these big triangular scallops just doesn’t taste very good, so the sinews are what’s grilled and eaten. They can be purchased for $2-3/skewer at the night market, or at beach bars frequented by locals. I love scallops and I loved these! They taste like scallops, perhaps less strong; I didn’t notice any particularly novel flavor and they could shine in many preparations. I would absolutely eat these again.

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5. ốc Giác (Baler Snail)

Baler snails are giant; the meat alone is typically as large as a man’s fist. Due to their size, they have to be prepared carefully in order to not go rubbery. One of the more popular and successful preparations is thinly sliced and sautéed with onions and banana leaves. Some people prefer them grilled or boiled, and also eat the roe. For me, these were just OK. The flavor was mild, sort of mushroomy, fine but I would not seek it out again.

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6. Bào Ngư (Abalone)

I’ve always thought of abalone as a shell, ideal for buttons or small household objects. I never considered eating them! They are really tasty, with a more delicate taste than clams or mussels, subtly smoky, closer to oysters but not as vinegar. The beautiful shells remaining on the dish at the end of the meal is a bonus. I would definitely order these again if I saw them on a menu.

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7. Mực (Fried Squid)

I have never liked calamari, but was promised the squid here was super fresh and tender. It did not disappoint! If I go back I will try to have the egg squid, a seasonal specialty.

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8. Gỏi Cá Trích (Raw Herring Salad)

Raw herring salad is possibly the island’s best known recipe, and the one I felt most apprehensive about trying. I needn’t have! Tossed with shredded coconut and wrapped with pineapple, rice noodles, green papaya, carrots, lettuce, mint and peanuts, then dipped in a slightly sweet sauce, it’s incredibly refreshing. It’s perfect for lunch on a warm day.

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9. Bún Quậy (Noodle Soup with Shrimp Cakes and Squid)

This dish has been an island breakfast favorite for around 100 years. The base is white rice noodles with bland seafood broth; the deluxe version includes shrimp cakes, fish cakes, and a boiled squid for 55,000 dong, though you can order it without the squid or with just one type of cake if you prefer. The gimmick here is that you make your own sauce with soup powder, chili, msg, sugar and a squeezed kumquat, and add to your soup to taste.

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10. Canh Chua Cá Bớp (Sweet and Sour Cobia Soup)

Cobia is the most popular fish on the island. It reminds me a bit of swordfish. I don’t love it, and this soup base is pretty straightforward. Meh!

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11. Vỏ ốc (Conch)

One of my favorite meals of all time was in Key West over 20 years ago now, the conch at Café des Artistes. I don’t remember much about the preparation, only that it was the first time I’d tried conch, and it was absolutely delicious! Obviously a beach joint in semi-rural Vietnam is not going to share much with a truly fine French restaurant, but I was still really surprised by how little I enjoyed the conch here. It was inedibly rubbery. Is conch typically that way, or did they ruin it?

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12. Nhum Biển (Sea Urchin)

Sea urchins have a rich, almost beefy taste that I love. They’re typically just grilled over charcoal with a bit of onions, oil and peanuts, though I’ve also had them with an egg fried in (an unfortunate flavor masking preparation that is used for shellfish with alarming frequency in Vietnam). There is usually a small and large size on offer, and the larger ones are meatier and have a stronger taste, which I prefer.

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13. ốc Nhảy (Jumping Snail)

My pictures disguise how small these snails are! You have to pick out the meat with a safety pin, paperclip, toothpick, sharpened old chicken bone, or the like. I love eating snails, but snails this small are hard work! This type of snail is considered beer food in Vietnam and is available cheaply in the market, at roadside stands, and pretty much any restaurant. They’re typically boiled before eating. Not worth it for me, but a must try if you want to eat like the locals.

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14. Bánh Canh Ca Thu (Mackerel Fish Cake Soup)

Banh canh is an ubiquitous style of Vietnamese soup with tapioca flour noodles or half rice/half tapioca flour noodles. All coastal areas will offer this soup with fish broth, and what goes in the bowl depends on the restaurant: fish balls, fish cakes, fried fish cakes, chunks of fresh fish, fried fish filets, a combo of fish cakes and pork or pork sausage, etc. This is a common lunch or dinner food, and typically costs 40,000 dong ($1.75) or less.What makes it famously good on Phu Quoc is the quality of the fish; not only can you get deluxe versions with crab or tuna, but even the cheap versions made with bits of miscellaneous fish and fish balls are relatively good. If you don’t have money to spend, you’re in a rush, or you’re looking for a homemade meal a little bit too late at night, this is a good choice.

And on my list for next time:

Tiết Canh Cua (Crab Blood Pudding)

Hải Sâm (Sea Cucumber)

Ca Thu (Grilled Mackerel)

ốc Gai (Barbed Snails)

Bánh tét mật cật Phú Quốc (Phú Quốc New Year’s Cake)

Mực Trứng (Egg Squid)

Bún Kèn (Ken Noodles)

John’s Tours, Phu Quốc | Vietnam

Every tourist city in Vietnam seems to have an ubiquitous day tour, the low price/greatest hits combo that’s sold by every agency and hotel, but serviced by only one or two companies.

In Phu Quốc, that tour is the 4 island boat trip by John’s Tours, best with the Aquatopia water park/cable car upgrade, and often combined with evening squid fishing (and let me be super clear, I have not been compensated by them in any way):  https://phuquoctrip.com/daily-boat-trips

You can do the cable car and Aquatopia water park by yourself, of course, but I found that they were less expensive when combined with the tour due to the included hotel transfers. There was also more than enough time at the water park to do 5 or 6 of the big slides and a trip around the lazy river.

You can choose between tour boat and speedboat; I much prefer the tour boat! The islands are all pretty much the same anyway: OK beaches with seafood restaurants, coconut stands, and maybe a cocktail bar, plus weirdly contrived instagram stations and sun loungers costing $1-2 whether or not you buy a drink. Less than a month later, I did not even remember how many islands there were, much less any differences between them.

I appreciated the dedication to keeping me consistently buzzed, loved the packs of beach dogs, and was very amused by the trend among Vietnamese couples and families to wear matching tropical print ensembles for their photo shoots. That said, none of this is worth rushing towards in a cramped speedboat! The chill experience of sunbathing and napping and having lunch on the slow boat is far superior.

Lunch is included on the slow boat, and it’s pretty good: shrimp, fried tofu, fish soup, veggies and rice. Pretty early in the morning they offer up a variety of shellfish you can have barbecued and served with your lunch (for an additional cost). I didn’t order anything because it was too early in the morning, and the thought of seafood made me feel a bit nauseous. I regretted it! The prices were fair and the selection was the freshest, most exotic stuff, including a variety of bigger snails that are hard to find on local menus, sea urchins, and horn scallops.

Snorkeling was for maybe 30 or 40 minutes between two of the islands. A lot of the coral was bleached and there weren’t a ton of fish; visibility was OK but it wasn’t very colorful! However, I love swimming and snorkeling so for me it was a nice part of the trip.  

I’m no connoisseur of amusement parks or water parks, I find them a bit scary to be honest! There were definitely sufficiently frightening water slides for adults and big enough safe play zones for kids. I found myself *considering* a couple of the more precipitous water slides. I’m working on recognizing my feelings of anxiety and converting them to feelings of excitement, but got stuck picturing my lovely teeth cracking out of my mouth in some catastrophic accident. To be clear, I don’t think this is likely at all! Everything seemed very new, safe, and well-maintained . . . I’m just a work in progress!

The cable car was actually the most expensive and anticlimactic part of the trip. I think the cable car ticket alone is $20 or more. It was lovely, I guess I just enjoy being on the water more. There’s also nothing to do at either station (just overpriced souvenir shops), and you can get much better footage of the islands with a drone.

The evening squid fishing, available as a separate tour or as an add-on for $15, was a terrible disappointment. It was just another couple hours on the tour boat, not far offshore, with insufficient lighting to attract squid, and hand reels! My grandfather taught me how to fish with a pole as a 6 year old, I had never even touched a hand reel before. Needless to say, no one caught anything and there were some really disappointed dudes there. Dinner was also pretty terrible shrimp congee with very little shrimp. I can't recommend it!

All in all though, I had an excellent time and would do the same tour again.  To state the obvious, don’t do it on a rainy day!

Hội An Cuisine and Where to Eat It, According to Locals | Vietnam

Lastly, I MUST mention 2 truly outstanding “Western” restaurants . . .

BEST Italian:

Good Morning Vietnam

I spent two months straight in Hội An, and visited a few times over the course of 7 months. It was enough time to get to know the ladies I was staying with, and I was delighted to find that not only were they Hội An born and bred, they are also intrepid travelers themselves, and one trained as a chef in Saigon! I simply could not have been luckier in sourcing local restaurant recommendations.

I requested restaurants that are old and highly regarded, places popular with locals, their personal favorites, and (most importantly) true Vietnamese cuisine with strong emphasis on local specialities.

CLICK HERE TO SEE THIS LIST ON GOOGLE MAPS

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BEST ONE STOP SHOP:

Mót Hội An

150 Trần Phú, Old Town

The local food at this tiny restaurant is excellent and cheap, and the place is always packed. Their menu has all of Hoi An’s greatest hits: bánh mì, cao lầu, thịt nướng, cơm gà, bánh vạc bông hồng trắng, hoành thánh chiên, and mì quảng are all on the menu; plus phờ, spring rolls, and wonton soup.

Their popularity, however, stems from the traditional Chinese medicinal drink sold here for just 12,000 dong. Sometimes called lemonade, sometimes tea, the bare bones ingredients for chanh sả (which literally translates as lemongrass lime) are lime, lemongrass, cinnamon, ginger and honey. At Mót they incorporate several additional ingredients according to an old family recipe, originally formulated to soothe digestive ailments. It’s incredibly refreshing and delicious!

This restaurant is also smack in the middle of the Old Town, the most centrally located of any on this list. If I only had one day in Hoi An, I would just come here and order one of everything!

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BEST Bánh Mì:

Bánh Mì Phượng

2b Phan Chu Trinh, old town

Obviously, bánh mì is an ubiquitous food that didn’t originate in Hội An. Equally obviously, it tends to be a street food rather than a restaurant food. Yet, foodies seem to agree the best bánh mi in the country comes from two shops here, this being the more famous.

The back of their bags quote the late, great Anthony Bourdain as saying: “The world’s best delicious bread brand” . . . which he obviously didn’t, being a native English speaker. I’m sure whatever he did say was positive though, because the bánh mì here is fantastic, and the scene aired on his Travel Channel show. I probably saw it and forgot it myself, years before I ever imagined coming to Vietnam.

I always order the vegetarian (chay) because it’s so damn delicious: tofu marinated in local soy sauce (Vietnamese soy sauce is sweet, yellow/brown and thick, not at all like the Japanese sort imported into the US) then lightly fried; avocado slices; peanut pâté, sautéed eggplant; a stalk or two of rocket; a leaf or two of lettuce; chili sauce; and chili jam; all on a perfect Việt baguette (crispy but not tooth-cracking like its Parisian ancestor).

Lunch here is a truly class-free society moment: jetsetters, schoolboys, street cleaners, and office ladies all queue up. They have a seating area, but sometimes the owner’s husband is the only one there, chainsmoking and people watching, so I tend to order through Grab.

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ALSO THE BEST Bánh Mì:

Madam Khánh

115 Trần Cao Vân, old townish

Foodies are always pitting Phượng and the Madam against each other in some sort of perpetual bread battle. How dare they! They are both superb, though it appears the Madam’s daughter does the cooking these days. My personal favorite bánh mì of all time is Madam Khánh’s bánh mì trứng chiên. Pâté, slightly runny fried eggs, chili sauce and cucumber (on another great baguette) make this a breakfast favorite. I love it with their fresh blueberry juice.

The vibes in the seating area are way less hectic than at Phượng’s; it’s farther away from the tourist area, so there are more motorbike pickups than seated customers. Around 1pm is nap time and the lights go out, but you are welcome to sleep sitting up across two chairs with the fam if you need more time to digest.

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DON’T BOTHER:

Bale Well

45 Ngõ 51 Trần Hưng Đạo, old townish

Every other restaurant on this street is called Bá Lễ Well something or other, referring to the ancient well behind Bá Lễ’s house. Though there are 80+ wells in Hội An, this particular well is famous for a few reasons. First, it is truly ancient, constructed by the Champa in the 10th century. Also, it’s never run dry, and so has been the go-to well for locals, soldiers and sailors for hundreds of years; when you drink a cup of well water, you are presumably tasting a bit of history. Lastly, it’s mineral richness (particularly aluminum) gives the water a slightly sweet taste that is considered the make or break ingredient for the local specialty, cao lầu.

Bá Lễ is 90 odd years old, but still kicking around and locally famous. He maintains the well and that’s why it’s named after him. Another local elder, Nguyễn Dương, has delivered the well water to local restaurants and households since 1975, so people my age grew up on this well water. I’ve had tasteless cao lầu and very tasty cao lầu, and now I wonder if the well water really did make the difference!

At any rate, this particular restaurant is not known for its cao lầu, but for the local styles of bánh xèo and thịt nướng. Both are foods that are served nationally, but with distinct regional differences, so these are the central coast versions. I believe this place is popular because they have a set menu with displayed prices, provide all the sauce and veggie extras, and demonstrate to foreigners how to assemble the rolls properly. It was honestly nothing to write home about. I’ve had better bánh xèo from street vendors and found the thịt nướng slightly revolting, but that could be because I’m already not a pork person, and this I would barely call pork, it was more like strips of burnt pork fat.

For reference, bánh xèo are fermented rice pancakes colored yellow with turmeric. The Hội An version is relatively small; you get 3-4 pancakes where in Saigon you’d have the same amount of food in one giant pancake. The fillings also vary regionally and by taste; here there’s typically a lot of bean sprouts, a small square of bacon and a whole (shell, legs, and tail still on) grilled shrimp in each pancake. You can eat it as is, or open it up and pile on fresh and pickled veggies (usually lettuce, mint, cabbage, papaya, carrots, cassava, cucumbers), chili jam, fish sauce, mint, even peanuts, and re-roll in rice paper. Bale Well didn’t include the bacon, so despite all the fresh veg it was relatively bland, lacking the salty/sweet contrast of its competitors. It was also a bit spongy inside, not fried crispy at all, which again takes something away from the best versions of bánh xèo I’ve had.

Thịt nướng just means pork meat, and refers to grilled fatty pork. It’s assembled in much the same way, rolled in lettuce leaves and rice paper wrappers, having been dressed with veg and sauce. It’s the sibling of bún thịt nướng, which is the same thing over white rice vermicelli-like noodles, and the cousin of bún chả, the Hanoian iteration with minced pork meatballs and a soup base. Just the smell of this on people can make me feel nauseous, so for me it was a YOLO fail. Your mileage may vary!

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BEST Bánh Xèo & Thịt Nướng:

Sông Hoài

An Hội island

There are only four items on the menu here; all dishes are 35,000 dong and all are meant to be shared. I found the bánh xèo and thịt nướng here to be far superior. The bánh xèo was still a bit oily for my taste, but the least greasy out of all the places I tried. They also used the highest quality pork of any place so far, alternating between squares of melted bacon type cuts and tender, soft strips. The thịt nướng here was likewise the best I’ve eaten for the same reason: the pork was simply higher quality and cooked with more care, and therefore tastier. There’s also an incredibly cute bulldog here, whose presence is guaranteed to cheer you up!

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BEST Mì Quảng:

Mì Quảng Bích

272 Hùng Vương, outskirts

Mì Quảng is named for Quảng Nam province, so it’s a true local specialty (as opposed to a local take on a common food). Mì Quảng is composed of thick rice noodles in a savory broth made with garlic, shallots, black pepper, fish sauce and turmeric, in addition to the local herb infusion found in all Việt noodle soups.

The added protein varies, but in Hội An, if no request is made, you can expect thinly sliced pork or whole shrimp, topped with green onion and peanuts. A deluxe version will have both, and/or hard boiled quail eggs. Some places allow special orders for chicken, but it’s not really the best in this dish. As with all other Việt noodle soups, mint, lettuce, bean sprouts, limes, chilis, and fish sauce are served on the side and can be added to taste. It’s also served with bánh tráng mè (toasted sesame rice crackers) that you can break up and add for crunch. Growing up with Stella D’Oro breadsticks, that toasted sesame taste resonates with me!

Mì Quảng Bích’s recipe is absolutely delicious. Her place is very local yokel, the kind of place where you get the impression the young kids and ancient ladies staring at you may never have seen a foreigner up close and personal before. From the center of the old town, it’s a 40-50 minute walk along the river; it’s nice on a temperate day but I had trouble getting a Grab to drive me back. She only serves two dishes, mì quảng and cao lầu, and her mì quảng has shrimp, thinly sliced roasted pork and quail eggs, and tastes very fresh and slightly spicy. It’s super busy at breakfast and lunchtime, and I would happily go back any time I’m out that way.

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I WON’T BE BACK:

Mì Quảng Ông Hai

6A Trương Minh Lượng, old town

Locals and bloggers alike agree that Mì Quảng Ông Hai is the place in Hội An to have this dish. Unfortunately, I was refused service there. I’d like to believe it was a terrible misunderstanding, but it seemed to be xenophobia; they had recent reviews posted from Vietnamese people, and people eating outside, but turned me away one Wednesday night. I thought I just got there too late . . . a lot of mom and pop shops around here close at 8. So I went back early Friday evening, and again there looked to be people eating outside, and again I was told they were closed. I asked if they’d be open on Monday and was told no, they’re closed “because of coronavirus.” So . . . they’re open for Vietnamese people but closed to me, “because of coronavirus.”

To be clear, borders closed March 22nd and I was trying to eat on November 17th. One would assume I live here, not that I somehow illegally entered the country within the past nine months and have been spreading deadly, yet unreported disease ever since. No one in Vietnam has tested positive since September, and the last positive case was community transmission between Vietnamese people. The only people allowed in the country are Vietnamese nationals, so the only people importing coronavirus into the country are Vietnamese nationals. Brutal question: do they really think I’ll make them sick, because they are old/uninformed/don’t understand . . . or have they always loved tourism money while still resenting tourists, or white people, or Americans, or whatever I look like to them, and this is their rare opportunity to say no to someone like me, with fewer of us around lately?

More importantly, is their food worth all that? I’LL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE I WON’T BE BACK.

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BEST Hến Trộn with Bánh Đập
. . . BUT DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YOU:

Quán Ăn Bến Tre

Xuyên Trung, Cẩm Nam island

This place is known for three things: hến trộn, bánh đập, and scamming tourists. Yet it remains the go-to place, frequented by locals because it’s a third generation business that’s been serving the island’s signature dish for over 50 years. There are many google reviews mentioning the scam: first the proprietress hands you a professionally printed English menu where the price is double the prices on the Vietnamese sign; later, when she presents you the bill, it’s again somehow more than you were expecting. I believe I paid $12 for the clams, smashing rice paper and a single beer, which by local standards is absolutely ludicrous. I don’t always mind being scammed; for example,15,000 dong (65 cents) doesn’t matter much to me, but can really help out a street fruit seller..

This lady, on the other hand, has clearly inherited and expanded a longstanding family business, and had the audacity to debate me on Trump (her for and me against, obviously). I explained I disliked him for many reasons, but primarily the diabolical wealth transfer executed during the pandemic. FYI, the Fed printed exponentially more money than ever before in history, so billionaires could double and triple their net worths while the average American received a single $1200 check many months into the crisis, or never received one at all, because this type of relief is only available to people with permanent addresses and bank accounts in good standing, who also filed their taxes properly in 2019 . . . in other words, cruelly excluding those who need help the most.

This lady posited that according to her sister in Texas, the US government was sending weekly relief checks. I explained that only if you already qualified for unemployment payments, you got an extra $600 per week for a few months, but that ended 5 months ago. Also, due to lockdowns and backlogs at already poorly run state agencies, many people were unfairly denied, or made to wait for weeks or months for their first payment, or sent debit cards to old addresses and just never got paid. When filing my 2020 taxes I was informed by New York State that I had received relief funds that must be declared, when I never received a cent. And again, this method excludes the neediest people in the country, those who didn’t qualify for unemployment and were already struggling before the pandemic.

This is where the conversation went left, with the restaurant owner repeatedly insisting her sister told her it’s $1200 every month and they’re still getting it thanks to Trump. We went back and forth several times, with me responding that it’s just not the case (thinking that perhaps she didn’t understand me due to the language barrier, or that she had misunderstood her sister), and her suggesting I was either ignorant because I was not physically present in the US, or just not believing Trump was doing something good because I didn’t like him.

And this was all before I had touched the food! I found myself slightly hungry, more than a little annoyed, and wondering: why is she asking me questions when she clearly has answers she likes? Why does she need to “win” a casual chat with an American, also a paying customer, about America? Does Trump pay her bills as well as her sister’s? But of course, an argumentative scammer with no time for facts would like Trump.

Back to the food! Hến trộn is tiny river clams sautéed with mint, onion, peanuts, and perhaps some spices or fish sauce. It’s served with bánh đập, which is a super thin three layer rice cake: the outer layers are crisp, but the inner layer is left soft and translucent. You crack a stack of it into pieces with your palm before dipping it into an ultra concentrated local fish sauce, and scooping up the clams with it. The fish sauce is strong enough that it’s served to foreigners with soy sauce to dilute as necessary, because many people can’t stomach ít.

The rice crackers were fun, the fish sauce really was a bit putrid, and the clams were just OK. To be clear, I love clams. As a partially Sicilian New Yorker, clams are in my comfort zone: straight out of the shell in their own liquor; raw with a dab of ketchup; spaghetti alle vongole, oregenata at restaurants . . . we even had Clamato juice in the fridge growing up (which sounds gross until you learn anchovy paste exists). Maybe I need to try a different restaurant, maybe I just prefer my own way over the Vietnamese version, same as snails. I thought they could use a little garlic ;)

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BEST Cao Lầu:

Trung Bắc Restaurant

87 Trần Phú, old town

Cao lầu is Hội An‘s most iconic dish, and making it is quite involved. The water used to make the noodles must come from the Bá Lễ well; those noodles are then soaked in lye leached from the ashes of herbs grown on Cham Island. The complicated process of making the noodles gives them a slightly chewy texture, faintly smoky flavor, and yellow color. The typical topping is sliced char siu pork, bean sprouts, onions, lettuce, and various herbs, with just enough pork broth poured over top to wet the noodles, plus deep fried squares of the noodle dough.

This was unexpectedly delicious. We know I’m not a pork person and the first bite was hard for me, but this was melt-in-your mouth good. The noodles were delicious, the taste was simultaneously fresh, savory and warming. I truly enjoyed it. I also have no doubt that theirs is a wholly authentic version; the only people there were me and 4 really old local dudes taking a break from their card game on the stoop next door. We often hear the words subtle, fresh, and nuanced in reference to Vietnamese cuisine; when done poorly it’s painfully bland, but when done well, magic can happen, and this was it.

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THE LITERAL ONE AND ONLY White Rose Dumpling (Bánh Vạc Bông Hồng Trắng)
& Wonton (Hoành Thánh Chiên) PLACE:

White Rose Restaurant
(Nhà Hàng Bông Hồng Trắng)

533 Đ. Hai Bà Trưng, old townish

This restaurant only makes two dishes: bánh vạc bông hồng trắng and hoành thánh chiên.

Bánh vạc bông hồng trắng, or “white rose dumplings”, are more than a local dish, they are a recipe closely guarded by a single family that’s been manufacturing them for generations. They own this restaurant, and they supply all the other restaurants in town. So, no matter where you eat them, this is where they came from.

There are no roses in the dough; the name comes from their resembling a fully bloomed flower when cooked, and was supposedly bestowed by a French patron in the colonial era. The dough is prepared with water from the Bá Lễ well, and the filling is a proprietary shrimp paste. They also include a few with minced veggie filling for variety. Fried onions are sprinkled on top,and the dipping sauce is a bit sweet, made with lemon juice, sugar, chilis, and shrimp broth. These are subtle and delicious!

Hoành thánh chiên is often lumped into the “Hoi An pizza” category by bloggers, but it’s nothing like bánh tráng nướng. It’s actually the same white rose dumplings, but deep fried into wontons and topped with a sweetened ratatouille of tomatoes, oyster mushrooms, white onions, tiny bits of mango and grilled shrimp. In the restaurant it’s served opened faced and gets too soggy for my liking. I prefer to order it to go and put the ratatouille in a bowl, breaking up the wontons and dipping them in like chips.

Both dishes are simple and satisfying, as long as you don’t mind slightly sweet food.

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BEST Cơm Gà:

Cơm Gà Bà Buội

22 Phan Chu Trinh, old towN

The history of cơm gà is interesting: in the 17th and 18th centuries, Hội An was Vietnam’s largest trading port, and many Chinese (and a few Japanese) families moved to the town and province for business reasons. With them came their cuisine, and some of it stuck around. This dish hails from Hainan island, and uses their “white cutting” method for preparing chicken: first boiling it in herb and onion infused water, then shredding it and dressing it lightly in salt, pepper and lime juice. The rice is cooked in the resulting chicken broth, sometimes with garlic or shallots added. The meal is served with a small cup of the chicken broth, a small dish of shredded papaya and carrots, herbs on the side, and if requested, a small bowl of cooked innards.

With such a simple meal, the highest quality ingredients and the right blend of herbs is everything. Bad cơm gà is bland verging on inedible; great cơm gà is still quite boring in my opinion, but refreshing in its simplicity, the kind of food I would eat if I had a sick stomach and needed to cut sugar, spice and grease. That’s probably why Vietnamese people are usually thinner than Westerners, the mentality isn’t about seeing everyday food as an opportunity to overindulge, but as a tool to stay energized.

This restaurant has been the go-to place for the dish for over 50 years, and theirs is the best I had. They also serve corn milk and black sesame milk if you need an exotic hit of carbs.

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ALSO THE BEST Cơm Gà:

Cơm Gà Bà Hồ

16 phan chu trinh, old town

In business since 1969 (side note: wow what a tough year to hang out a shingle in Vietnam), this restaurant has their own well, and the cơm gà is cooked by a granny. Who could ask for more? It will never be my favorite dish (too boring) but the version served here is tasty and authentic. Of particularly good quality was the broth; it was incredibly familiar to me, tasting just like the chicken broth at old school Chinatown restaurants. It makes sense given the southern coastal Chinese diaspora of 200 years ago, and it was wonderful to discover that these dishes I’ve eaten literally across the world from each other are so true to the ancient original.

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BEST Bánh Bèo:

Bánh Bèo Bà Mỹ

Nguyễn Thị Minh Khai, old town

Bánh bèo hails from slightly further north in Huế, but the two cities were closely entwined as long as Hội An was a primary port, bringing in luxury imports for consumption at the royal court. The dish consists of glutinous rice and tapioca flour shells, topped with with a bit of dried shrimp and onions, pork skin or sliced cinnamon sausage, and topped with a sweet nước mắm pha dipping sauce. This is more of a snack than a meal; it’s best shared with friends and washed down with iced tea. It’s a bit bland for me; I find myself filling the cups with the sweet dipping sauce. However, this restaurant has been serving them up for over 20 years, so if you’d like to try them, it’s a great choice.

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BEST Bún Đậu Mắm Tôm:

Quán Dâu Bắc

71 Đào Duy Từ, old townish

Bún đậu mắm tôm is not for everyone! The central flavor of the dish comes from extremely pungent fermented shrimp paste, served with Vietnamese type salad greens, sliced cucumber, fried tofu, fried and boiled pork belly, fried spam, and fried new rice cakes. If you can’t tell from the preponderance of fried elements, this is kind of a late-night-drinking-with-friends food. The dish originated in Hanoi, but this is the wildly popular central coast version.

Run by two ancient ladies and an English fluent daughter, a cadre of elderly local women hang out here in the daytime, and invited me to snack on the tiniest snails ever with them. Fun!